描述
开 本: 16开纸 张: 纯质纸包 装: 平装-胶订是否套装: 否国际标准书号ISBN: 9787545530636
1、百万畅销书作家、心灵导师毕淑敏联手翻译大家朱虹，为年轻人奉上一次触动心灵的成长之旅！
2、人生路上不会总铺满鲜花，偶尔也会荆棘密布。20则温暖心灵的故事 20剂治愈心灵的处方，献给所有在不安中眺望未来的年轻人。
3、故事里有你，也有我，作者以细腻而不失力度的笔触，讲述人生的孤独与困惑，迷惘与思考、痛楚与撕裂、沉沦与挣扎、无边的阴郁与微弱的光明……让年轻读者将心理垃圾转化为积极的能量，温暖心底冰冷的地方。愿你能在阅读中受到启迪和鼓舞，心中多一分安定和从容，勇敢面对困难，原谅生活所有的刁难。
4、全书四色精美装帧，内含专属定制主题插图，带来非凡的阅读享受。读真实故事，品纯正英语，解成长谜题。
这是著名作家毕淑敏为年轻人量身打造的治愈心灵的处方。她以平实、真切的文字与广大年轻人分享自己的人生智慧，聆听年轻人的心声和困惑，用自己丰盛的人生经验和专业知识为他们提出宝贵的意见，帮助年轻人正确认识自己，走出不安与迷茫，轻松自在地迎向新的人生旅程。
自助看医生
A do-it-yourself Visit to the Doctor
谁是你的闺蜜
Best Buddies
藏獒与虎皮鹦鹉
Between the Mastiff and the Parakeet
红与黑的少女
The Girl in Red and Black
你究竟说了些什么
The Magic Word
出卖冥位的女生
The Girl who Sold Burial Plots
我忏悔，因为我的身材
Penance for my Perfect Figure
重的咨询者
A Very Weighty Problem
失眠失恋，你究竟失去了什么
Comparisons are Odious
任何成瘾都是灾难
Addiction means Disaster
温暖的荆棘
Tender Thistles
剩女出嫁
Marrying off the left-over Women
心理测验的批发商
A Wholesale Business in Psychological Testing
适度撒谎
Discreet Lying
分泌幸福的“内啡肽”
Secretions of Happiness
倾听，是你的魅力
Lend me your Ear
等待你的第二颗糖
Gratification Deferred
卑微也是我们的朋友
We are Small Fry, and so What!
你为什么而活着
There is no Meaning to Life…
轰毁你心中的魔床
The Demon Bed
书里藏着两双手
毕淑敏
本书英文译者朱虹老师的手，温热而柔软。真是难以相信，这样一双看似普通的手，写过大量极有创见的英美文学评论。尤其是用准确简练又不乏幽默的笔触，将大量中国文学翻译成英文，并得到英语世界主流文学界的赞赏与认同，她的翻译还不止一次成为博士论文的课题。
朱红老师由衷热爱翻译事业，一直兢兢业业，她以英语的思维，追求“神似而非形似”的翻译风格，不是亦步亦趋地简单直译，而是在力求准确的同时，不失灵性和变通，严谨中饱含风趣，让读者领会更加原汁原味的英文，体会纯正的英语之美。这样一位声震海内外的翻译大家，怎么会在84 周岁的耄耋之年，翻译我的这本小书呢？
她的初心，是为了留给自己的孙女们一件精致隽远的礼物，便倾注了满腔心血来做这件事。译文反复推敲修改，精益求精，达到感人至深的地步。
她老人家原想只把此书作为自家的珍宝，亲人相传。不想此译稿被天地出版社得到，将它出版，于是更多的读者也有了珍藏它的机缘。
文字之中，也藏着我的一双手。我这双手，没什么特殊，只是指掌比较大。当年我做外科医生的时候，如果第二天有我出台做手术，护士长会特别叮嘱准备手术器械的新护士说，一般女医生的手套6 号半到7 号即可，毕医生要用7 号半的大手套。
现在上了点年纪，因长年写作，多个手指发炎变粗，估计再要去做手术，没准要用8 号
的手套了。
说完了手，说说我的心意吧。我向你保证，书中文字，都是我秉着当年执手术时的责任感，以治病救人为无尚光荣的医生之德郑重写下，力求它们传达暖意和富有力量。
感谢天地出版社编辑们的辛勤劳动。
亲爱的读者，这样流畅美好伏贴而生动幽默的英文译本，真是难得的宝贝。赶紧把它收
藏起来吧。
我和朱虹老师的手，藏在书中，等着和你打招呼呢！
Two Pairs of Hands Hidden in a Book
Bi Shumin
The hands of Zhu Hong, the translator of this volume of stories, are
soft and warm.
It is hard to imagine that this pair of hands had written articles
on English and American literature with sharp critical acumen.
More amazing is the fact that Zhu Hong had translated outstanding
works of Chinese literature into English. Her translations, precise, succinct,
sometimes with a dash of humor thrown in, have been approved of and accepted in
the Englishspeaking world of academia, while at home they have more than once
served as topics for Ph.D theses.
Zhu Hong works hard and is deeply devoted to her chosen field. True
to her ideal of translation not as a mere formation of words but as a means of
imparting the spirit of the original, Zhu Hong’s works of translation have
managed to offer her readers a taste of the English language in all its beauty
and flexibility.
Now why did this famed master of translation, at the venerable age
of eighty-four, bother to translate these short stories of mine? It turned out
that Zhu Hong had planned to translate this collection of my stories as a gift
to all her granddaughters, a gift to be handed down as an heirloom within the
family. Thus she threw herself into the job of translation, sweating over every
word in pursuit of perfection. However, the project was discovered by Tiandi Press,
and thus destined to be released for a larger readership.
My own two hands are also hidden in the text of this book. There is
nothing special about my hands, except that it is larger than the usual for
women of my age. Back in those days when I was a surgeon and whenever there was
a surgery planned for the next day, the nurse in charge of surgical instruments
would always order gloves of size 7.5, explaining to her staff that size 6—7
was the usual for women doctors, but that Doctor Bi Shumin needed
7.5!
By now, I have added some years to my age, not to mention having
spent those years writing nonstop, and most of my fingers are swollen with
inflammation. If I am to perform surgery now, I guess I will need size 8
gloves.
Now that we have dealt with hands, let us move on to the heart.
Let me assure you, readers: every word here in the book is sprung
from my sense of responsibility as a practicing surgeon. All of them were
written down conscientiously, word by word, out of a sense of pride in being a
doctor dedicated to saving lives, and were all written in the hope that those
words, imbued with strength, would send out warmth!
Many thanks to the editorial staff of Tiandi Press for their hard
work!
Dear readers, with such smooth flowing English, faithful to the
original, bubbling with humor, such a book is a rare acquisition. Snatch it!
My hands and Zhu Hong’s hands—are hidden inside the book, waiting to
greet you!
毕淑敏的文字有着温暖而坚定的内核，展示的是对生命的善意与真诚，如涓涓暖流穿透人心，让我们的内心柔软、安宁，更加强大。——羊城晚报
善意与冷静，像孪生姐妹一样时刻跟随着毕淑敏的笔端。……她会成为文学界的白衣天使。——王蒙
任何成瘾 都是灾难
有个年轻人，名叫安澜，他说自己干什么都会成瘾。我要详细了解情况，就说：“请打个比方。”他说：“我上学的时候就对网络成瘾。那时候，我每天起码有五小时要趴在网上，网友遍布全世界。”
我插嘴道：“全世界？真够广泛的。”安澜说：“是啊。人们都说上网对学习有影响，可那时我的英文水平突飞猛进，因为要和国外的网友聊天，你要是英文不利索，人家就不理你了。”
我说：“—天五小时，你还是学生，要保证正常的上课，哪里来的这么多时间啊？”
安澜说：“很简单，压缩睡眠，我每天只睡五小时。我有单独的房间，电脑就在床边。我每天做完作业后先睡下，四小时之后，准时就醒了，一骨碌爬起来就上网，神不知鬼不觉的，到了天快亮的时候，再睡一小时回笼觉。爸爸妈妈叫我起床的时候，我正睡得香甜。很长时间，家里人看我白天萎靡不振的，都以为是上学累的，殊不知我的睡眠是个包子，外面包的皮是睡觉，里面裹的馅就是上网。”
我说：“青少年正是长身体的时候，你这样睡眠不足，是要出大问题的。”
安澜说：“还真让您说对了。后来，我就得了肾炎。因为不能久坐，我只好缩减了上网的时间。我休了学，急性期过了以后，医生建议我开始缓和的室外活动，慢慢地增强体力，我就到郊外或是公
园散步。
“一个人在外面闲逛，就是风景再美丽、空气再新鲜，也有腻的时候。我爸说，要不给你买个照相机吧，一边走一边拍照，就不觉得烦了。家里先是给我买了个数码的傻瓜相机。果然，照相让人觉得时间过得很快，一只狗正在撒尿，一只猫正在龇牙咧嘴地向另外一只猫挑衅，都成了我的摄影素材。白天照了相，晚上就在电脑上回放，自己又开心一回。很快，这种简陋的卡片机就不能满足我的欲望了。我开始让家里人给我买好的机子，买各式各样的镜
头……把自己认为好的照片放大。城周围的景物拍烦了，就到更远的地方去，我又迷上了旅游。“后来我爸说，我这是豪华型患病，花在照相和旅游上的钱，比吃药贵多了。不管怎么样，我的病渐渐地好了。但是错过了高考，我就上了一所职业学校，学市场营销。毕业以后，我进了一家玩具公司。玩具这个东西，利润是很大的，只要你营销搞得好，拿比例提成，收入很可观。这时候，因为时间有限，到远处旅游和照相，变得难以实现，我就迷上了请客吃饭……”
我虽然知道咨询师在这时应该保持足够的耐心倾听，还是不由自主地小声重复：“迷上了请客吃饭？”说句实话，我见过各种上瘾的症状，要说请客吃饭上瘾，还真是次碰上。安澜说：“是啊。我喜欢请客时那种向别人发出邀请，别人受宠若惊的感觉。喜欢挑选餐馆，拿着点菜单一页页翻过时的那种运筹帷幄的感觉，好像点将台上的将军，尤其是喜欢后结账时一掷千金、舍我其谁的豪爽感。”我思忖着说：“你为这些感觉付出的代价一定很高昂。”
安澜垂头丧气地说：“谁说不是呢？去年年底，我拿到了七万块钱的提成奖励，结果还没过完春节，就都花完了，我可给北京的餐饮业做出了杰出的贡献。近，我们又要发季度提成了，我真怕这笔钱到了我的手里，很快就烟消灰灭。而且，酒肉朋友们散去之后，我摸着空空的钱包，觉得非常孤单。可是下一次，我又会重蹈覆辙，不能自拔。我爸和我妈提议让我来看心理医生，说我这个人爱上什么都没节制，很可怕。将来要是谈上女朋友也这样上瘾，今天一个明天一个，就变成流氓了。我自己也挺苦恼的，一个人，要是总这样管不住自己，也干不成大事啊，您能告诉我一个好方法吗？”
我说：“安澜，我知道你现在很焦虑，好方法咱们来一起找找看。你能告诉我像上网啊，摄影啊，旅游啊，请客吃饭啊这些活动，带给你的初的感觉是什么吗？”
安澜说：“当然是快乐啦！”我说：“让咱们假设一下，如果在那个时候，来了位医生抽一点你的血，化验一下你的血液成分，你觉得结果会怎么样？”
安澜困惑地吐了一下舌头，说：“估计很疼吧？结果是怎样的，就不知道了。”
我说：“抽血有一点疼，不过很快就会过去。我以前当过很久的医生，对化验这方面有一点心得。当人们在快乐的时候，内分泌系统会有一种物质产生，叫作内啡肽。”
安澜很感兴趣，说：“您告诉我是哪几个字。”我在一张纸上写下了“内啡肽”几个字。安澜仔细端详着，说：“这个‘啡’字，就是咖啡的‘啡’吗？”
我说：“正是。咖啡也有一定的兴奋作用。”安澜说：“您的意思是说，每当我进入那些让我上瘾的活动的时候，我身体里都会分泌出内啡肽吗？”
我说：“安澜，你很聪明，的确是这样的。内啡肽让我们有一种不知疲劳、忘却忧愁、精神焕发的感觉。这在短期内当然是很令人振奋的，但长久下去，身体就会吃不消。这就是很多染上了网瘾的人，后变成茶饭不思、精神萎靡不振、体重大减、面黄肌瘦的原因啊。而
且，因为人上瘾时，对其他的事情不管不顾，考虑问题很不理性，就会出现严重的后果，这也就是你在请人吃完饭之后精神十分空虚的症结。有的人工作成瘾，就成了工作狂；有的人盗窃成瘾，就成了罪犯；有的人飞车成瘾，就成了飙车族；有的人权力成瘾，就成了独裁者……”
安澜说：“这样看来，内啡肽是个很坏的东西了。” 我说：“也不能这样一概而论。人体分泌出来的东西，都是有用的。比如当你跑马拉松的时候，只要冲过了身体那个拐点，因
为体内开始有内啡肽的分泌，你就不觉得辛苦，反倒会有一种越跑越有劲的感觉。比如有的科学家埋头科学实验，为了整个人类的发展做出了卓越贡献，在那种非常艰难困苦的条件下能够坚持下来，他的内啡肽也功不可没啊！”
安澜说：“听您这样一讲，我反倒有点糊涂了。”我说：“任何事情都要有节制。比如，温暖的火苗在严冬是个好东西，可要是把你放到火上烤，结果就很不妙。如果你不想变成烤羊肉串，就得赶快躲开。再有，在干燥的沙漠里，泉水是个好东西，但要是发了洪水，让人面临灭顶之灾，那就成了祸害。对于身体的内分泌激素，我们也要学会驾驭。
这说起来很难，其实，我们一直在经受这种训练。比如你肚子饿了，经过一个烧饼摊，虽然烤得焦黄的烧饼让你垂涎欲滴，但是如果你没买下烧饼，你就不能抢上一个烧饼下肚。如果你看到一个美丽的姑娘，虽然你的性激素开始分泌，你也不能上去就拥抱人家。所以，学会控制自己的内啡肽，也是成长的必修课之一啊。”
听到这里，安澜若有所思地拿起那张纸，看了又看，说：“这个内啡肽的‘啡’字和吗啡的‘啡’字，也是同一个字。”我说：“安澜，你看得很细，说得也很正确。成瘾这件事，可怕的是毒品成瘾。吗啡和内啡肽有着某种相似的结构，当有些人靠着毒品达到快乐的时候，他们就步入了一个深渊，这就更要提高警惕了。当然了，网瘾和毒品成瘾还是有一定的区别的。不过，一个人要身体健康和心理健康，对所有那些令我们成瘾的事物都要提高控制力，要有节制。”
那天告辞的时候，安澜说：“我记住了，任何成瘾都是灾难。”
Addiction means Disaster
During one of my counseling sessions, a young fellow named An Lan
confided to me that for him, anything that he enjoys would turn into an
obsession. I asked for an example. He told me that when at school, he had been
addicted to going online—he would spend five hours every day at the computer,
his online friends were spread throughout the world.
I could not help exclaiming: “Throughout the world! That’s really
something.”
“So it is,”
An Lan went on: “People say that going online affects your school work, but in
my case, my English shot up. I had to chat with friends throughout the world,
and if your English is not snappy, the kids ignore you.”
“Five hours
online! You were a student at the time. Where did you find so much spare time?”
“Easy,” said
An Lan, “Cut sleep to five hours. I had a bedroom to myself, and my computer
was next to my bed. I went to bed right after finishing my homework. I woke up
promptly after four hours’ sleep and went online, and nobody the wiser. By
daybreak, I stopped for another hour or so for sleep. When my mom or dad came
knocking to wake me up for school, I would still be in deep sleep. I would go
through the day pale and out of sorts. My parents assumed that I was overworked
at school. Actually my problem was lack of sleep. For me, sleeping became a
pretense, a cloak to hide the time I spent online.”
I muttered that he was still in growing pains and that this lack of
sleep would cause serious problems.
“It was just
as you said,” exclaimed An Lan. “Soon, I was diagnosed with nephritis and could
not remain sitting up for long. I had to cut the time spent online. Then I had
to quit school.
When the first acute attack was over, the doctor advised me to spend
time outdoors to recover my strength. I would take walks in the park or the
outskirts of town. No matter how fresh the air, or how beautiful the scenery, I
soon became bored of being alone all the time. So my dad bought me a little
digital camera. Taking random snapshots as I walked about got me out of
boredom. A doggie peeing, a cat showing its teeth at a rival —they all served
as subjects for photography. Back home at night, I would play back the shots
and get some entertainment out of them. But soon I was dissatisfied with that
simple contraption. I got a good camera with different lenses and took shots of
views in and out of town, and back home I would enlarge them for fun. I would
go further and further out of town in search of better views, and this actually
turned into tourism. My father muttered that mine was really an expensive
hobby, as the costs of my photography and ‘tourism’ had far exceeded the
medical expenses.
“Despite the
complaints about expenses, I did have a good recovery. But by then I had missed
the National Test for Higher Education, so I attended a private business school
where I studied marketing. On graduation, I got a job at a toy store. I was
paid according to percentage of sales and enjoyed a good income.
Under the circumstances, photography and tourism as pastimes were
out of the question, so I became addicted to throwing dinner parties.”
I was aware that as his counselor, I should hear him out, but I
could not help exclaiming: “Addicted to throwing dinner parties!”
To be honest, it was the first time I had ever heard of such an
addiction.
An Lan said, “Yes, I like the feeling of sending out invitations and
seeing the delight and surprise on people’s faces. I like the experience of
choosing a restaurant and going through the menu page by page, deliberating
over the choices, like a general picking his team. I especially like the grand
finale of throwing down the cash in a magnanimous gesture, as if saying who
else if not I?”
I demurred, saying: “I suppose you must have paid a hefty price for
this kind of ‘feeling good’?”
An Lan looked downcast. “Exactly. On the eve of New Year, I received
a bonus of seventy thousand yuan, but it all went down the drain and Spring
Festival was barely a month away. I could say that I have really made a
contribution to the success of the catering business in town.
And now, our bonus for the second season is about to be handed out.
I am really afraid that the money will disappear in a flash. The fact is, once
the convivial gathering is scattered and I am left with an empty pocket, I feel
very dejected. But I can’t help myself. The minute there is money in my pocket,
the cycle is on again, beyond my control…
“My parents
have advised me to seek counsel, saying that this merry-go-round of dinners
must be checked. Suppose I start dating, they warned, I will be seeing one girl
today and a new girl tomorrow, and I will be taken for a womanizer. I myself am
unhappy about the situation. I will never be up to much if this trend goes on.
Do you have any advice?”
I said, “An Lan, I realize you are worried. Let’s put our heads together
and think of something. Tell me, what were your feelings when you first plunged
yourself into going online, and photography, and tourism, and entertainment?”
“I was happy,
of course!”
“Now
supposing that at the time, a doctor showed up and wanted to take your blood
for testing, how would you feel?”
Caught unawares, An Lan stuck out his tongue. “I suppose it will
hurt. I won’t be able to predict the result, though.”
I told him that getting one’s blood taken will hurt a little but
that the pain will be gone very quickly. I had been a doctor and know something
about blood testing. When people are happy,there are secretions from their
endocrinal glands, called endorphin.
An Lan seemed very interested, and wanted me to show it to him in
writing, so I wrote down on a piece of paper the three Chinese ideograms for
endorphin. An Lan scrutinized them and said: “The phin here sounds like fei,
the last ideogram for the word coffee.” I said yes, and coffee has the effect
of stimulation.
An Lan asked: “So every time I get worked up in my hobby, it means
that my body secretes this kind of endorphin?”
“Yes, An
Lan,” I told him, “the caffeine in coffee also has a stimulating effect.”
An Lan asked: “Are you saying say that every time I get wrapped up
in those activities which could be addictive, it means that my body is
secreting that stimulant?”
I replied: “An Lan, you are smart, quick to get to the point.
endorphin has the short-term effect of stimulating us and making us forget
fatigue and unhappiness. In the long term, you get hooked. All such addictions
are debilitating, causing loss of appetite, weight loss, and general decline of
health. People throw everything to the winds when they are hooked. They stop
thinking rationally and that may give rise to serious consequences. That is
what happens to you after your dinner parties, you feel emptied out. In some
cases, people become workaholics; others become kleptomaniacs and end up
criminals. Then there are others who become part of the maniac drivers crowd.
Still others become maniacs for power, and end up dictators…”
An Lan said: “This means that endorphin is a very bad thing?”
I s a i d : “We s h o u l d n ’ t ma k e t h e s e generalizations.
Whatever the human body secretes, it has its uses. For instance, while running
the Marathon, your body will be secreting endorphin after you have passed that
critical turning point, and then you will stop feeling so tired. Actually you
may even feel lighter on your feet. It is the same with scientists. As they
bury themselves in research on subjects which benefit mankind, it is also
thanks to the effect of endorphin that they could persist in their work under
difficult circumstances.”
An Lan murmured that he was getting a bit confused.
I said : “There is a limit to everything. Fire is good for winter,
right? But I bet you don’t want to be held over the fire, unless you want to be
baked. Again, water is a good thing in the desert, but you don’t want to be
caught in a deluge. It is the same with the hormones in our bodies—we must learn
to control. It sounds difficult to achieve; actually we are constantly being
trained unawares. Say you are hungry and you pass by a stall with tantalizingly
crispy baked buns on display. No matter how hungry, you will not snatch one
unless you have paid for it. When you see a beautiful girl, your hormones might
start working, but you will not go up and give her a hug. Controlling your
endorphin is part of growing up.”
As I finished speaking, An Lan picked up the piece of paper, looked
closely at the writing and said: “The phin in the term endorphin is the same
ideogram as the phine in morphine.”
I said, “An Lan, you are a sharp observer and you got it right.
Talking of addictions, the worst addiction is drugs. The structure of morphine
and that of endorphin have something in common. People who are addicted to
drugs are actually in hell. That is something that we must beware of. Of
course, addiction to going online is something different from reliance on
drugs. But still, in order to maintain bodily and mental health, we should keep
a distance from anything that is addictive. We must practice
selfcontrol—everything in moderation.”
As he left, An Lan murmured to himself: “Keep this in mind:
addiction means disaster.”
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